Let Him Smile
by BeckdamProceeds
Summary: During the aftermath of Campbell Saunder's death, Maya struggles to come to terms with his decision. However, with the help of two close friends, a road trip to Kapuskasing, and a search to find his missing body, Maya will see that not all questions are left unanswered.


First and foremost, I'd be lying if I said I don't miss Campbell. I really do miss him. I think about him terribly, and sometimes it hurts my head. However, I am the architect of my own identity. What Cam did was awful, and I still don't understand why he did it, not even after accepting the fact that he's gone forever, but I want to maintain that I'm still the same Maya. Yes, my boyfriend killed himself, and yes, I've cried, even sobbed. But after going through what I did after he died, he leaves a heartwarming spot in my heart, nothing less. Campbell's death does not define who I am as a person. I am not just the grieving girlfriend. I am stronger than that.

Campbell did it on May Eighth. A few days later, Zig and Tori appeared in my driveway at noon. I crouched in the living room and observed them through the window. They were pretending to be happy, but I knew they weren't. They were not even remotely happy. Zig's familiar half-smirk was forced; his oaken eyes were electric, as if reflecting the excitement of the plan the two of them were scheming. I looked at Tori: I could see it in her eyes—there was a layer of happiness, but beyond the thin sheet of bliss, there were miles of deep, echoing sadness.

I took a deep breath and ran out of the front door. "Hey guys!" I said excitedly, running straight into their arms. Tori hugged me tightly, laughing while she did it, and Zig grinned from ear to ear, patting my shoulder. When I pulled away, his eyebrows drooped.

"I have an idea," he said. "Actually, no, _we_ have an idea. We have a great plan, and you're going to come with us."

"What are we doing?" I asked playfully. Admittedly, I thought their behavior had been strange during that week, and I wasn't able to relate to their sadness, so I had ignored them and was not planning on talking to them until Campbell's suicide was forgotten.

Zig looked at Tori and expected her to answer, so she blinked in surprise and giggled quickly. "Oh, okay. Well, Maya Matlin, we're taking you on a road trip."

I jumped five feet in the air, pressed my fists into a ball, and cheered silently with Tori. Zig stood there and watched us, probably feeling awkward

"This is so exciting!" I said, taking short breathes. "I'm glad we can finally get away from all this depression. Now, where are we going?"

Tori and Zig's faces turned to stone. They glanced at each other and nodded solemnly. When they turned their heads to face me directly, I knew exactly where they wanted to go. "Kapuskasing," Zig said.

"No," I said. It was all I could say. Suddenly, I felt uneasy. I folded my arms across my chest. A cold rush of air blew behind my neck, making the tiny blond hairs stand on end.

Zig widened his eyes and tried to look sincere. "Maya, we have to go. You need the closure, and me and Tori need the answers."

"I'm _not_ going," I said, this time with force in my voice. I felt a strange knot erupting in my throat. I swallowed hard. Eye contact became difficult.

Tori was sympathetic. She watched me carefully with her large, sweet eyes, and then she wrapped her arm around my shoulder, almost holding me. "The reason why we're going is because the funeral directors—uh, they lost the body."

I was too busy forcing a fake smile to let Tori's words sink in. When the two of them didn't say anything, I blinked in a silly way and dumbly asked, "What?"

"The funeral directors in Kapuskasing lost Campbell's body. It is believed to be stolen. Me, you, and Zig are going to take a road trip over there and try to find it," she said, letting go of my shoulder and then moving her fingers to brush a loose strand of hair out of my eyes. Zig nodded, his hands crammed in his pockets. In that moment, I suddenly realized how hard it must have been for Zig during all of the aftermath. I felt guilty enough about being the girlfriend, but Zig's situation must have been far worse. He triggered it.

I sighed and glanced behind myself at the house. I made a mental note to pack WhisperHug's new sheet music (memorizing it usually helps when it comes time to jam out), and then clapped my hands together. "Sounds good. But how are we going to get all the way to Kapuskasing? What about school?"

"We have all of that covered. Zig called the school and said the three of us were going to attend Campbell's funeral this Tuesday. They understand the long drive, and they wrote that we won't be back until Thursday. It's Saturday now, so we'll probably get there on Sunday afternoon. We're going to take a train," Tori said, beaming.

After a quick exchange of words, I fled into the house and sloppily crammed the first eight outfits I could find into a duffle bag. I packed my toothbrush, hairbrush, a good book, and then galloped down the street with Zig and Tori.

"This is going to be so much fun," I said, skipping gleefully around the two of them, who were walking rather slowly.

Tori and Zig shared another serious look together. I rolled my eyes and let my arms drop to the sides, knowing that they were party-poopers and they didn't know how to appreciate a good time like the way I did. We stopped by Tori's house; she ran inside and quickly grabbed her things, which were already packed. When it came time to run by Zig's house, he became flustered and insisted that we go to the train station and wait for him there. Later on, when we were buying our tickets, Tori mentioned Zig was very self-conscious about his economic status. I blinked and wondered why he would care about something like that; I knew I wouldn't.

Finally, at around three o'clock, we were sitting on the train. Much to my dismay, it wasn't anything like the Hogwarts Express, but it was durable. The three of us sat on a row built with four seats; I sat on the outside, Tori sat in the middle, and Zig had the best seat, next to the window. He stared out the window for a long time, even before the train was moving. I wished he would lighten up and become his old self again.

As the train took off and churned along the rickety tracks, we sat in silence, our heads pressed against the cushions, waiting and hoping for the steam whistle to blow loudly and knock ourselves back into reality. We watched the sun fall down into the rocky, snowy hills of northern Canada. We waited to be thrown into the distant world Campbell Saunders had grown up in.

**Author's note: I'm sorry if some of this seems rushed; I just want to get them to Kapuskasing, because that's where the real story begins. **


End file.
